So I know this could be a can of worms - most good TV is about suspending disbelief, and programme makers create a series of unlikely scenarios in order to draw us in. I mean imagine if My Family was based on a real family?! Actually that’s a bad example… a real family would be funnier to watch (and is, in The Family) but then so would a televised rectal exam… which brings me to Embarrassing Bodies – not megalolz funny, but ‘OMG did they just show that on TV?’ amusing, and definitely more interesting than watching Robert Lindsay prat about in a dentist’s coat. ANYTHING IS!
Anyway, I’m not talking about Reality TV here, obv – with that the clue is in the title – its REAL (is it? Jennifer Lopez seems nice on American Idol, but that’s GOT to be fake. She’s got snippy diva written all over her face - which is from the block).
Ridiculous and unconvincing stuff happens on TV every day, and it makes it good. I love it as much as the next person…
Case in point: in Eastenders Ronnie SWAPPED her dead baby with Kat’s alive baby and no one noticed or has figured it out yet. I thought for sure she was rumbled when the nurse came round and was like ‘Errr, this baby was born with a club foot love, and now its gone’ but instead of becoming suspicious she just shrugged it off. Ummm, this is not Biblical times nursey! Miracles as tangible as that don’t happen every day, and in Walford they happen NEVER. Dr. Legg would never have let that slide.
Then there’s always Neighbours… But where to start, and I covered a lot of the ridiculousness a couple of weeks ago, but for anyone that missed it here’s the headlines:
1. Elastic homes that house dozens of people at once
2. Toadie’s ridiculous weight loss – specifically the fact that no one has mentioned it
3. Everything about Paul Robinson.
I’d like to add a new one - everything about Lynn Scully. She is an utterly baffling entity. For a start she’s next level manic. How she can be so breathy and actually manage to speak and walk without passing out indicates to me that she has a substantial talent that she’s not exploiting. She really should take up the saxophone. I used to play it, and my tiny lung capacity was an early hurdle. She could toot out Baker Street like a pro let me tell you.
However, the soaps are easy fodder. They have to be ridiculous, they’re on daily or almost as much, and storylines about putting the bins out, not being able to find the cat, and whether or not to call the plumber about the water mark on the ceiling would not be particularly compelling viewing.
But, humble reader, this week my major foible has been caused by a programme that is close to my heart: Brothers and Sisters. As soon as I saw the first advert for Brothers and Sisters five years ago I KNEW I was going to love it, and I was right. I loved it -- the cast, the relationships, the snappy dialogue, the cliffhanger storylines -- It was all in there. Now this programme has caused outburts of ‘THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN’ as much as the next, and over five years there have been too many to list here. However, in the past two weeks something SO outrageous, so unbelievable and unconvincingly STOOPID has happened that I feel I have to mention it. Here I go: Kitty called a plumber, and the plumber. Is. Fit. That’s right folks, the plumber is good looking, hot, dreamy, whatever you wanna call it. Its next level. And of ALL the unbelievable things that have happened in this programme (we’re talking long lost sisters who aren’t actually sisters who marry their fake brother who never was their brother to name but one storyline) this is the most RIDONCULOUS of all – it would NEVER happen. Anyone who has ever called a plumber, handyman, or tradesman of any description will know that outside of porn films (again, not so concerned with the believable) these men do not show up on your doorstep looking hot, single and ready to mingle. They show up wearing jogging bottoms round their crack, and leave muddy footprints in the bath. With all the stupid and unbelievable stuff that happens on TV, this has annoyed me the most. The baby swap thing I can live with, because none of that would EVER happen, ever, but the thing that annoys me most about this is how close to reality it is - in real life a sink WOULD break (the water mark on the ceiling thing is a current episode in my thrilling life), and a plumber WOULD be called…… but from there reality and the storyline in question follow different trajectories. They've already snogged, and now they're taking things slowly (cos her ex-politico husband died after going into a coma for a year following a car crash involving every member of her family - NORMAL stuff). As ever what's the most annoying thing of all? I want it to happen. I gasped when they kissed. Reader - I rewound for crying out loud! The truth is I really like Kitty. I'm glad her plumber is hot and a feasible relationship prospect. Next week I hope she fucks his brains out.
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